God what do you want me to do?This world keeps attacking me.
Make me strong.
Relationships have always been on my mind. I've actually never had an official girlfriend/boyfriend relationship. I've definitely come close. But one way or another it never came about. I haven't had my first kiss, first date, not even held hands with a girl.
I'm suppose to be proud of this. I'm upholding my purity and my integrity with my future wife, if God permits. But I can't help but sometimes feel depressed or alone.
Today during accountability I shared this. I set aside a period of time just to pray. One of my prayers was one that I already prayed months ago, but I needed to pray it again. "God, if this person isn't the one you want me to be with, if it's not time and if it's not Your will for me to be with someone, then please take away the desire." I keep having this problem. This desire that I need someone. I prayed that for the last person I was interested in, and God answered, but do I need to constantly pray it when I find interest in someone new?
I still have a lot to pray about. Choices I make, the way I live, the things in this world that need God.
I have to endure through the pain. That's what faith is. Still believing through the pain.
It's normal to feel lonely every now and then. After all, God did say it's not good for man to be alone. But it does also say in the Bible (at least, to the daughters of Jerusalem, but I'm sure it applies to guys as well ^^;;) not to arouse or awaken love until it so desires.
ReplyDeleteIt'll happen when it happens. But until then, just keep being strong.
By the way, I find it very interesting that you pray that prayer. Not that many people do that. It definitely shows you got your priorities right and that you know that it's all in His hands anyway. It's very encouraging :)