Go?

Right now, what's on my mind is church.

I'm wondering if I should change. This time it's not because of the people or the spiritual environment.

But I'm wondering if right now this church can do anything for me. It certainly did when I was in high school, but the college ministry is much more different. Rather, it's passive. Not to mention, everyone there is about 2 years older than I am and different.

Right now, or rather soon, the EM will undergo a dramatic change. Or maybe not so dramatic? There's going to be a pastor change. Will this help or hurt the ministry? Will I grow if I stay here?

I do want to go to a more...perhaps capable college ministry. One that will really change me and renew me. Maybe that means going somewhere else, well, that can only mean going somewhere else with the way things are right now. But what's holding me back is fear. Will I fit in at a new church? Will I be able to become a praise leader there? Will I come closer to God?

I'm not in youth group anymore, but I still pretend I am. I think it's time I really move on and go to the next thing.

I'm looking back at my zion days. I really miss those days. My faith back then wasn't really strong. I probably went to church more for the people rather than God. But even that alone. The people around me at Zion had a heart for God. I could tell, and that does make a difference. Not saying that Immanuel doesn't in any way. I wonder why it fell. Why did the people leave? and so quickly?

It's also really sad to see the people from the EM ministry from Zion now mostly don't go to church. I really can't think of anyone who currently attends church or has grown in faith. Rather, I think most of them have gone backwards and fallen.

But those were the good days weren't they? back when we all hung out after church. went to someone's place just talked about cars, played games, watch tv, cook, go to the park, or something. We always found something enjoyable to do.

Though, now we're all separated. Relationships ruin friendships. One friend dates another friend only to break up down the road and never talk to each other again. In turn neither hang out with the rest of the old gang. That's how it always is. That's what it's come to now. Everyone just living their lives. No contact, no get togethers, no cya later.