With Everything
A prayer song.
A declaration.
Praise, worship.
I'm listening to it right now, and I want to shout unto God to the top of my lungs.
Break me down. Make me weak. Make me low.
Let me praise you up high. With Everything that is in me.
Let me sacrifice all to you because nothing in this life matters after.
I want to be willing to give up everything, and shout for you praise.
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Forgotten God by Francis Chan
So today I went to the Christian bookstore to buy guess...some Christian books.
I bought two, one called Walking with God by John Eldredge and another called Forgotten God by Francis Chan. I didn't like Walking with God so I'm gonna exchange it with another book I had interest in while over there.
Forgotten God however is good. It focuses on the neglect of the Holy Spirit in modern day churches and how we need to go back and get more of the Holy Spirit. The real Holy Spirit.
I read the intro and first chapter. Because I don't feel like physically writing right now (3:35am) I'll type my QT here.
12/10/09 (even though it's actually 12/11)
Start of Forgotten God.
The Holy Spirit is neglected and forgotten. There are probably over millions of church goers who cannot say they have experienced the presence or action of God in the past year. And many don't believe they can. I agree with him. Even myself, to a lesser degree. I guess the last time I experienced God was summer retreat? maybe a few months after at this one Friday service. HE also says the main goal of contemporary churches nowadays are to get as much people to come as possible rather than movement in the Holy Spirit. So true. Imagine being stuck on a desert island with nothing but the Bible to read and to come back to contemporary churches. You'd be convinced that the Holy Spirit is necessary is necessary for a believer's existence as air is to life. But we often aren't because of the image churches give us nowadays of the Spirit. The Holy Spirit led the first Christians to do great things, to live lives that didn't make sense to the world around them, and spread the story of God's grace. Sometimes, we feel that there is something missiong at church. So much so that we become dissatisfied and run away from church and God. That something is the Holy Spirit. Without it, people can only accomplish human results. The world doesn't change by human creation nor does a church live differently from other groups of people without the Spirit. With the Spirit however, the church cannot help but be different, and the world cannot help but notice. Living in America, it seems like the Holy Spirit lacks the most here but is working in places like Africa, Asia, etc. "I do believe that the Spirit is more obviously active in places where people are desparate for Him, humbled before Him, and not distracted by their pursuit of wealth or comforts." We should be fellowshipping over what He's doing rather than what he did months or a year ago. With God, there is no balance or enough. When he take in a lot of Him, we should only thirst for me. When we surrender to the Spirit fully, Christ will be magnified, not us (John 16:14).
The author recounts a time when 2 Jehovah's witnesses came to his door and told him that Micheal the archangel of heaven was the same as Jesus Christ. He knew this to be wrong and told them that Jesus was more than one among many angels but they didn't believe him. So he told them to turn to Daniel 10:13 "But the prince of the Persian kingdom resisted me 21 days. Then Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me." Then the two looked shocked and said they never heard or read this before. He basically responds by saying "you guys only spread what you've heard but don't know if it's true." Then he questions himself by saying the samething.
"Have I ever sat down with the Bible and sought after its self-evident truth? Or had I passively ingested what I heard from other people, much like the Jehovah's witnesses?"
Ask the Spirit to make scripture living and active within you. To take away all those fake pictures you've been told or believed. Alot of us think we don't need the Holy Spirit because we can live comfortably without it. Even church growth can happen without God. All you need is a good speaker, talented band, and fun events. We shouldn't be able to blend in with nonbelievers. Nonbelievers shouldn't be more at peace or happier than we are, but why is it so? Romans 8:9 basically says if we are believers, then the Spirit of God dwells in me. If we are believers, and the Spirit dwells within the body, then there should be a difference between a person who has the Spirit within him/her and one who doesn't. If you said you had an encounter with God where he gave you the super ability to play basketball but didn't improve in skills then wouldn't you question that encounter? We say we've encountered God, put sin to death, serve the church. Dead but risen. But if we aren't any different from those who don't believe, people begin to question our integrity, sanity, or worse, our God. It is fact that the Spirit is in us, so each day should be different. We shouldn't be like nonbelievers. We shouldn't be crawling when we have the ability to fly.
I bought two, one called Walking with God by John Eldredge and another called Forgotten God by Francis Chan. I didn't like Walking with God so I'm gonna exchange it with another book I had interest in while over there.
Forgotten God however is good. It focuses on the neglect of the Holy Spirit in modern day churches and how we need to go back and get more of the Holy Spirit. The real Holy Spirit.
I read the intro and first chapter. Because I don't feel like physically writing right now (3:35am) I'll type my QT here.
12/10/09 (even though it's actually 12/11)
Start of Forgotten God.
The Holy Spirit is neglected and forgotten. There are probably over millions of church goers who cannot say they have experienced the presence or action of God in the past year. And many don't believe they can. I agree with him. Even myself, to a lesser degree. I guess the last time I experienced God was summer retreat? maybe a few months after at this one Friday service. HE also says the main goal of contemporary churches nowadays are to get as much people to come as possible rather than movement in the Holy Spirit. So true. Imagine being stuck on a desert island with nothing but the Bible to read and to come back to contemporary churches. You'd be convinced that the Holy Spirit is necessary is necessary for a believer's existence as air is to life. But we often aren't because of the image churches give us nowadays of the Spirit. The Holy Spirit led the first Christians to do great things, to live lives that didn't make sense to the world around them, and spread the story of God's grace. Sometimes, we feel that there is something missiong at church. So much so that we become dissatisfied and run away from church and God. That something is the Holy Spirit. Without it, people can only accomplish human results. The world doesn't change by human creation nor does a church live differently from other groups of people without the Spirit. With the Spirit however, the church cannot help but be different, and the world cannot help but notice. Living in America, it seems like the Holy Spirit lacks the most here but is working in places like Africa, Asia, etc. "I do believe that the Spirit is more obviously active in places where people are desparate for Him, humbled before Him, and not distracted by their pursuit of wealth or comforts." We should be fellowshipping over what He's doing rather than what he did months or a year ago. With God, there is no balance or enough. When he take in a lot of Him, we should only thirst for me. When we surrender to the Spirit fully, Christ will be magnified, not us (John 16:14).
The author recounts a time when 2 Jehovah's witnesses came to his door and told him that Micheal the archangel of heaven was the same as Jesus Christ. He knew this to be wrong and told them that Jesus was more than one among many angels but they didn't believe him. So he told them to turn to Daniel 10:13 "But the prince of the Persian kingdom resisted me 21 days. Then Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me." Then the two looked shocked and said they never heard or read this before. He basically responds by saying "you guys only spread what you've heard but don't know if it's true." Then he questions himself by saying the samething.
"Have I ever sat down with the Bible and sought after its self-evident truth? Or had I passively ingested what I heard from other people, much like the Jehovah's witnesses?"
Ask the Spirit to make scripture living and active within you. To take away all those fake pictures you've been told or believed. Alot of us think we don't need the Holy Spirit because we can live comfortably without it. Even church growth can happen without God. All you need is a good speaker, talented band, and fun events. We shouldn't be able to blend in with nonbelievers. Nonbelievers shouldn't be more at peace or happier than we are, but why is it so? Romans 8:9 basically says if we are believers, then the Spirit of God dwells in me. If we are believers, and the Spirit dwells within the body, then there should be a difference between a person who has the Spirit within him/her and one who doesn't. If you said you had an encounter with God where he gave you the super ability to play basketball but didn't improve in skills then wouldn't you question that encounter? We say we've encountered God, put sin to death, serve the church. Dead but risen. But if we aren't any different from those who don't believe, people begin to question our integrity, sanity, or worse, our God. It is fact that the Spirit is in us, so each day should be different. We shouldn't be like nonbelievers. We shouldn't be crawling when we have the ability to fly.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
What is this?
No really what is this?
If feel more and more reluctant to go to this winter retreat as it gets closer and closer.
Last Sunday's praise was just not it.
And today I read that my yg pastor was finalizing the song list. As soon as I read that I sort of felt angry. I was afraid that he'd take out all the faster songs and add too many slower songs or songs that don't fit the yg. I had this mentality of "if you were gonna do that, why make me create the list and take the time in the first place?" Instantly, there my musician's side of me came through. I take my music playing seriously. I've been playing music whether piano, guitar, saxophone since I've been in elementary school so it's integrated into me. The rhythm, the crescendos and decrescendos, melody>harmony, quiet verses and loud choruses, it's all in my head. It's winning over the worship portion of the praise team. And then I thought "I'm not suppose to be this." I feel like I'm not suppose to be a praise leader. I'm not worthy. I sin too much, I care about the musical aspect too much, I'm not humble enough. But I can't just back out now, that'd be way to detrimental to the retreat. When I think about though, I'm not really needed am I? Maybe these are things the last praise leader had going through his mind and that's why he ultimately cracked and left for a few months, possibly years. I think that's why I like simpler worships. Where it's just me and the guitar like the sunday night Bible studies because I don't have to worry about how the music sounds.
Tonight I did my QT and it was about Moses and his death. I'm in Deutronomy so it's coming down to the last moment of his life. In Numbers, Moses disobeys God because he's overwhelmed with anger from the constant complaining that the Israelites give him and their lack of faith. Resulting in Moses striking the rock twice for water when God commanded him to speak to it for water. God got angry and said that Moses couldn't go into the promised land like the Israelites could.
Now, isn't that kind of unfair? Here you have a man whose devoted his whole life to God and basically listened to everything he did and followed his for several years. But the one time he messes up, God doesn't allow him to go to the promised land. Moses even asks later if he can go, but God says with a harsh "Enough, I don't want to hear you talk about this anymore."
Isn't God suppose to be just? I thought he understood and was fair? Forgiving? It literally says in Deutronomy that God will discipline those who fall away from him, but if they confess their sins and turn the other way, he'll accept them back and restore them.
So then, why not Moses? He confessed his sin, why take him out of those standards? Can he not redeem himself through repentance? I certainly think he deserves more than the Israelites. He was faithful through it all, but the Israelites constantly fell away from God and constantly idolled other gods. But they get to still go to the promised land? and then I thought, it's all sort of unfair isn't it? What if Moses was born after Jesus? then would he had been forgiven since thats the period of the forgiving God? But we don't get to choose when we're born.
Did I really have a choice? I was born into a Christian family. Forced to go to church and participate. So is there free will in that? I guess there is since I didn't really become a real Christian until high school but still. What about the people born into Islam or Buddhism, they didn't have choice. Was it not God who chose for them? But then don't they go to hell? Where's the reasoning in that?
Repentance=confession of sin(s), then turning away and never doing it again. Not simply saying I'm sorry and going back. So then how do we keep from going back? A lot of times we say we repent, but go back into those same patterns, me included. I think if you truly repent, it reflects your willingness to change. In order to change, you have to sacrifice something. Maybe say "I repent for being a bad son." So then what I have to do is stop, stop being introverted, be more affectionate and loving, at the cost of sacrificing time, emotions, etc.
God is still good. All the time.
If feel more and more reluctant to go to this winter retreat as it gets closer and closer.
Last Sunday's praise was just not it.
And today I read that my yg pastor was finalizing the song list. As soon as I read that I sort of felt angry. I was afraid that he'd take out all the faster songs and add too many slower songs or songs that don't fit the yg. I had this mentality of "if you were gonna do that, why make me create the list and take the time in the first place?" Instantly, there my musician's side of me came through. I take my music playing seriously. I've been playing music whether piano, guitar, saxophone since I've been in elementary school so it's integrated into me. The rhythm, the crescendos and decrescendos, melody>harmony, quiet verses and loud choruses, it's all in my head. It's winning over the worship portion of the praise team. And then I thought "I'm not suppose to be this." I feel like I'm not suppose to be a praise leader. I'm not worthy. I sin too much, I care about the musical aspect too much, I'm not humble enough. But I can't just back out now, that'd be way to detrimental to the retreat. When I think about though, I'm not really needed am I? Maybe these are things the last praise leader had going through his mind and that's why he ultimately cracked and left for a few months, possibly years. I think that's why I like simpler worships. Where it's just me and the guitar like the sunday night Bible studies because I don't have to worry about how the music sounds.
Tonight I did my QT and it was about Moses and his death. I'm in Deutronomy so it's coming down to the last moment of his life. In Numbers, Moses disobeys God because he's overwhelmed with anger from the constant complaining that the Israelites give him and their lack of faith. Resulting in Moses striking the rock twice for water when God commanded him to speak to it for water. God got angry and said that Moses couldn't go into the promised land like the Israelites could.
Now, isn't that kind of unfair? Here you have a man whose devoted his whole life to God and basically listened to everything he did and followed his for several years. But the one time he messes up, God doesn't allow him to go to the promised land. Moses even asks later if he can go, but God says with a harsh "Enough, I don't want to hear you talk about this anymore."
Isn't God suppose to be just? I thought he understood and was fair? Forgiving? It literally says in Deutronomy that God will discipline those who fall away from him, but if they confess their sins and turn the other way, he'll accept them back and restore them.
So then, why not Moses? He confessed his sin, why take him out of those standards? Can he not redeem himself through repentance? I certainly think he deserves more than the Israelites. He was faithful through it all, but the Israelites constantly fell away from God and constantly idolled other gods. But they get to still go to the promised land? and then I thought, it's all sort of unfair isn't it? What if Moses was born after Jesus? then would he had been forgiven since thats the period of the forgiving God? But we don't get to choose when we're born.
Did I really have a choice? I was born into a Christian family. Forced to go to church and participate. So is there free will in that? I guess there is since I didn't really become a real Christian until high school but still. What about the people born into Islam or Buddhism, they didn't have choice. Was it not God who chose for them? But then don't they go to hell? Where's the reasoning in that?
Repentance=confession of sin(s), then turning away and never doing it again. Not simply saying I'm sorry and going back. So then how do we keep from going back? A lot of times we say we repent, but go back into those same patterns, me included. I think if you truly repent, it reflects your willingness to change. In order to change, you have to sacrifice something. Maybe say "I repent for being a bad son." So then what I have to do is stop, stop being introverted, be more affectionate and loving, at the cost of sacrificing time, emotions, etc.
God is still good. All the time.
Friday, December 4, 2009
Writing
You know what?
I love writing.
well...not necessarily with pen or pencil because my handwriting is hard to read for others and my hand gets tired. Nor do I like being forced to write or being limited like school assignments do.
But I do love it. I love putting down my thoughts on paper/computer screen. I need to write more. I rarely do. This blog is great. Maybe more of me on here should be posted.
I love writing.
well...not necessarily with pen or pencil because my handwriting is hard to read for others and my hand gets tired. Nor do I like being forced to write or being limited like school assignments do.
But I do love it. I love putting down my thoughts on paper/computer screen. I need to write more. I rarely do. This blog is great. Maybe more of me on here should be posted.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
How have I been?
Took a picture of my watch yesterday around 4am -.- Don't ask why I was up that late I just was. That's how it's been and probably will be for the next few weeks to come.
I've become a member of a third ministry now, but this time it's a part from Immanuel. It's actually lead by my old YG pastor from Zion and takes place from 8pm-10pm (though it usually goes over). It's good though. It's aimed for those who've gone aloof from God since the breakup of Zion. I really like it. I got to lead praise and it's really what I've wanted to do: lead simple praise, just me and my guitar and God. I'm looking forward to it.
Today I got my guitar adjusted because the strings were too high which made playing bar chords or for long periods of time extremely difficult. Now it's so much better. I can play it so easily. Happy :) I really want to get good, but I don't know how much better I'll get. I have a tendency to skip and take too much in one bite.
Recently, a friend of mine who've I come close to asked me how I've been spiritually. I've yet to respond to her facebook message though. Part of me wants to say I've been struggling, another part just wants to give a false facade and say "it's all good." It's not that I've fallen away from God. I still uphold my principles and try to stay good, but I've rather grown stagnant in my passion for Him. I think it was easier to be focused on God while I was in the dorm/while school was going on because I felt like I had to show the non Christians/God that I truly am a Christian, separated from the world. But now that I'm at home, there's no temptations of people around me, there's no impurities or cursing that I hear around me. So I think I've come and a stand still. It's been awhile since I've done QT outside of church, something I'm sure to do tomorrow. Of course, that's what I said I'd do today, but it just didn't happen. Stupid me.
Praise is a reflection of your intimacy with God. I think my praise has been bad these past weeks. Because I haven't been close with God. I've only done the minimum 1 QT a week, played too much video games, too much judging/criticizing others. That's my biggest problem: judging. I judge people so heavily, even if I don't let it known, which i usually don't. I have to stop, but I can't. That's my nature. I'm never a part of the action or in the center. Instead I'm the one on the side watching and observing.
I have to get back on track. It's a priority. What if the world ends tonight/tomorrow?
cheers
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Thanksgiving
I haven't posted here in awhile. Man, sorry guys haha.
Since the last post:
-I've moved out of the dorm
-Fall quarter of school is over and no school til January 4th
-I got a new camera, nikon d90. Along with a new tripod set :))))
-Gotten hooked on Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2.
Just a quick overview of what's happened. I'm glad I'm out of the dorms. It wasn't for me. Too expensive for not good enouch facilities. Not to mention the people there are just weird and ..... Also my room was a big mess. Literally no floor, I couldn't walk across the room without it being a workout. All thanks to my roommate(s) (you gotta remember my roommate decided to let his gf in the room too). Pretty much everything I didn't want to happen while i was in the dorm happened. -.-
Since last thursday I've been playing Call of Duty MW2. It's sooooo fun for some reason. It's such a simple game yet no one else has made a game like it. It is taking up too much time though.
Today is Thanksgiving. What are you thankful for? Obviously the typical answers are parents, clothes, house, food, etc etc. What else though? Are you truly thankful? Do you act like you're thankful? Is it only on Thanksgiving that you let it known what you're thankful for?
As Christians, we should be giving thanks all the time, good or bad. God gives us everything we have. Without him we are nothing and have nothing. No clothes, no friends, no house, no family, no car, no money, no everything. I was thinking this the other day. God is God, he can do WHATEVER he wants. So it truly is by his grace and love that we live the way we do. Because for no reason at all, God can take it all away without any justification. So truly praise and thank him, in the good and bad times. It's like breathing, how are we suppose to survive if we only breathe every once in awhile? So take this day to stop everything, devote some time to God and thank him for everything that you have because we don't deserve anything, no matter how hard we worked for it. Everything is God.
"Be joyful in all cirucumstances; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." - 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18.
Cheers. God bless
Since the last post:
-I've moved out of the dorm
-Fall quarter of school is over and no school til January 4th
-I got a new camera, nikon d90. Along with a new tripod set :))))
-Gotten hooked on Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2.
Just a quick overview of what's happened. I'm glad I'm out of the dorms. It wasn't for me. Too expensive for not good enouch facilities. Not to mention the people there are just weird and ..... Also my room was a big mess. Literally no floor, I couldn't walk across the room without it being a workout. All thanks to my roommate(s) (you gotta remember my roommate decided to let his gf in the room too). Pretty much everything I didn't want to happen while i was in the dorm happened. -.-
Since last thursday I've been playing Call of Duty MW2. It's sooooo fun for some reason. It's such a simple game yet no one else has made a game like it. It is taking up too much time though.
Today is Thanksgiving. What are you thankful for? Obviously the typical answers are parents, clothes, house, food, etc etc. What else though? Are you truly thankful? Do you act like you're thankful? Is it only on Thanksgiving that you let it known what you're thankful for?
As Christians, we should be giving thanks all the time, good or bad. God gives us everything we have. Without him we are nothing and have nothing. No clothes, no friends, no house, no family, no car, no money, no everything. I was thinking this the other day. God is God, he can do WHATEVER he wants. So it truly is by his grace and love that we live the way we do. Because for no reason at all, God can take it all away without any justification. So truly praise and thank him, in the good and bad times. It's like breathing, how are we suppose to survive if we only breathe every once in awhile? So take this day to stop everything, devote some time to God and thank him for everything that you have because we don't deserve anything, no matter how hard we worked for it. Everything is God.
"Be joyful in all cirucumstances; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." - 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18.
Cheers. God bless
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Goal-Guitar
Aj Rafael- She was mine
listen to it please. it's good.
Goal once this quarter is finished up until the New Years.
Get twice better than I am right now with guitar.
My inspirations: Shane & Shane, Gabe Bondoc
I feel like over the summer I got like...3 times better lol. It's really all I did during the summer.
Good night world...and you :)
--------------------------------
I will be humble, and stay humbled, more humbled.
I won't change who I am for someone else. I know You will provide Father.
Man, just being able to call You Abba Father shows the relationship we can have with you.
Good night Abba
listen to it please. it's good.
Goal once this quarter is finished up until the New Years.
Get twice better than I am right now with guitar.
My inspirations: Shane & Shane, Gabe Bondoc
I feel like over the summer I got like...3 times better lol. It's really all I did during the summer.
Good night world...and you :)
--------------------------------
I will be humble, and stay humbled, more humbled.
I won't change who I am for someone else. I know You will provide Father.
Man, just being able to call You Abba Father shows the relationship we can have with you.
Good night Abba
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
