Alive in This Moment

Lately, I've come across a lot of music talking about once being spiritually dry but then going back to God and his open arms. One of these songs are called Alive in this Moment-Starfield, another good one is Undo-Rush of Fools.

I've noticed that the music I listen to keeps me close to God. I don't know why. But the last two weeks I've been listening to only korean hip hop and my faith was bad. But this week and the last few days I've gone back to Christian music and my faith is growing back to where it was.

School's been busy. Lots and lots of projects. Just yesterday I woke up at 3:30am to work on a drawing project that I had barely started. Tonight I have another project due tomorrow but it's supposedly easy so I gotta do well on this one to make a 100. So much work, but only 3 weeks left after this one. Then winter vacationnnn yeee. Where should I go? snowboarding? Los Angeles? Vancouver? Korea? those are all options to places I can go.

I sold my two saxophones and got some big cash out of them. The money is pending right now. So one i get the money I'll finally be getting a quality tripod and another camera body. I've been wanting two camera bodies for the longest time. My list of needed camera equipment is slowly going down :p

College isn't the place for me. The people here are just so worldly. Much worse than high school. I hear curse words everywhere, I hear so sinful things, and it's constantly attacking me. But I'll stand strong, I have Jesus by my side.

I'll either be in an apartment or back home after the new year.

“For, 'All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of the Lord stands forever.' And this is the word that was preached to you.”- 1 Peter 1:24-25

felt like it was relevant to the youth group's monthly verse 2 Timothy 3:16-17
"All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, 17so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work."

Cheers

Spiritual Battle

I wont lie. My faith's been lacking these past few days. It's my fault though. Havent been devoting the time I'm suppose to with God. Mainly just been going to church, and that's it.

I will say, church has become more of a chore to me and that I loathe it. It's rare that I can just simply go to church and praise God. Right now, I feel like I've brought too many responsibilities among myself and that the people there just aren't in the right place (can't say I am either). Leader of EM praise team, leader of little praise team, being a "teacher." They all REQUIRE that I go to church every week Fridays and Sundays, get there two or three hours early on Friday and stay three to four hours after,TWO services on Sunday with the usual meeting afterwards. It's sorta too much and tiring. I just want to go to church. Spend time with God and that's it.

I like being praise leader of EM. But I feel like that's too great a responsibility too. I simply just want to go up and praise. Not have all these harmonies or drums or lighting or rules. Just me, the guitar, and God. As simple as that.

But I don't think God is going to let me quit those positions. I'm in a place right now where if I quit, I'll be letting a lot of people down and God probably put me in this rut for a reason. Yare yare. In the mean time, I gotta spend more time with God, dang school, it takes so much energy away from me. I'll remain faithful

Didn't sleep until 5am this morning because I was working on homework and a major project that was due the same day. Now I gotta do another drawing, draw the preliminary lines for another major project, write an essay, and attend all these events for my FYE class, which by the way is a waste of time.

In other news I got my camera flash. Another check mark on the need to get list of photography equipment. I love it. So great and it opens up a whole 'nother realm of photography. Much to learn with it. Now I need to get a tripod. After that probably upgrade to a better camera body, then more flashes because off camera flash is a whole 'nother thing too, and with that comes the need to buy wireless transmitters, umbrellas, stands, diffusers, etc etc. The list never ends.

"I will proclaim the decree of the LORD :
He said to me, 'You are my Son;
today I have become your Father."

Psalm 2

Wrong

I realize I've been doing this walk the wrong way.
I'm not suppose to be satisfied with Christ.
I can restrict myself to Chrisitian music, I can stop cursing, but there are still millions of people out there who don't listen to any music and don't curse and still have a better heart than me even when they don't believe in Christ.
I'm a praise leader, I go to church, but that doesn't mean anything. Doesn't make me more of a Chrisitan than anyone else, doesn't mean God loves me more.

It's not about what I do, but it's all about my heart and how I live out my life with it. So today I hit the restart button, and do this over the right way. For a walk to look for a burning fire for the Almighty. Without a face, without a name, but with a job. A job that God has set out for me to do for his glory-called a Holy Ambition.

Coming back to the Heart of Worship.

Complete

That's my 2nd project completed. Can you guess the sentence?





Bible. We as Christians SHOULD be reading it, but many of us who call ourselves Christians don't read it. And at the same time we have doubts about Jesus or have a dry period because we think God isn't then when we need him. You know what I tell those people? When was the last time you read the Bible? Often they'll probably say a longggg time ago or not at all outside of church. How can you expect to maintain a close relationship with God without knowing God? God is the Bible. It is our manual. When you try to find out the purpose of a machine you don't ask the machine. No, you ask the creator. So we gotta go to our manuals, the Bible, and see how we should be living. The Bible has it all. It sets the standards by which we should live by. "If the Bible isn't relevant to your life, then Jesus and God aren't relevant to your life." The Word stands true from Genesis all the way to Revelations. The New Testament wasn't any more important than the Old Testament. Jesus was the living Word. He fulfilled everything of the Old Testament AND THEN SOME, thus the New Testament is created and new promises are made.



I hung out with a friend today who i havent seen in a long time. I kept trying to get her to go to church but i donno :/ but as awkward as it was, i had a good time. it was good to see her out and about. we ate sushi at a nearby place. can't say it was all that good but the place was nice. honestly i was a bit surprised by the place, it's really a place to have a date by the way it looks.



I donno if you'll ever see this, sure hope you don't haha. I had a good time. I'll admit I felt really shy and awkward, that's why I couldn't get my sentences to come out a lot of times haha. But yo thanks for the company and time. Have a safe trip going back home, and I hope you get better with whatever you have, serious or not. I'll treat you to a better sushi place I know next time.

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God"

John 1:1

Rain

Credits to my man Jin for taking the time early in the morning to come and take pics of the worship team.

I have more to say, but i'll post tomorrow. I forgot my Bible in the car and it's freezing outside along with freezing rain. I already tried to get it, but i forgot the car keys haha.

God loves everyone, no matter what you've done.

Troubling times

I'd make a post about God's undying love. But i'd be a hypocrite to write like everything is good when it's not.

There's been something stuck in my mind for a while. Something annoying. I pray about it, but I can't seem to get a response. I believe that prayer does work, it's just that im just about one of the most impatient people in the world. Heck I even hate to wait for youtube videos to load. Maybe God is saying "wait, it's not time yet, but it'll be worth it." It's so hard to wait. Especially with the people all around me. It's not you God, it's me at fault.

I'd have to say, college isn't for me. I can't get through a regular day without thinking about how bad people are. This is only college too, there's much worse people out there. But I can't help but cringe in my mind when someone curses, or all that people live for are parties with alchohol and clubbing. This isn't the place for me. I need a place where people live for more. A place where people know their purpose and their plans, not people who just waste away their lives. I've yet to meet anyone like me here, or even close. Everyone curses, everyone parties, everyone lives in the world and pushes away the things that really matter in the world. It's difficult, a good time to the typical college student is getting drunk or partying. My options are limited. The music I hear around me is always about sex,drugs,money,fame.

What about the simpler things in life that are so much better?

This really is a test, so God, may I tear it up and pass it like Job did when you tested him.

Lately I've been reluctant to go to church, or should I say, youth group. Not because of the actual church part, but because of the people. I'm sorta getting sick of some annoying people. One little girl who thinks she's older than she is, another girl who tries to get all the attention, and yada yada yada. I should really start devoting more time to EM shouldn't I? afterall I am the praise leader. I'm gonna pray a little longer tonight, I feel like I need to pray.

Happy birthday little brother. We've been side to side since the beginning, but now it seems like we've been drifting apart. Wish I could be a better brother; but hey, even when it doesn't seem like it, I got you.

There is this man named Job in the Bible. He's blameless, does everything good, and fears God (in a good way). But one day satan comes up to God and says that Job is at fault, that he's not really a follower God, all it takes a one little test or hardship and he'll fall away. So in order to prove satan wrong, God takes away all of Job's thousands of animals, then kills all his children. But Job, didn't curse God, he was still faithful. He took off his clothes, went on his knees, and said "naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I shall leave." Still satan thought Job could be broken, so to prove him wrong again God makes him have horrible skin disease. At this point Job is suffering like no other. You think you've had it hard when you break up with your gf/bf? or have 5 tests the next day? Job friggin lost all his riches, animals, kids, pretty much his life. Even his wife said curse God, why do you still praise him? But Job responds and call her foolish. He still loves God for all that he is.

That's the way I want to be.

God, make me make you my everything.

Life, sometimes you stab me so mercilessly in the hardest spots, yet it hurts 10 times more.