Wow

It's been awhile hasn't it?


Sorry, I find it hard to write nowadays. I haven't been doing my quiet times as often. Wow...



Last night was the first night of the quarter where I stayed up doing work. I thought I'd never have to do that again but who am I kidding. I hate color theory. The teacher doesn't understand how much work she's giving us. Several projects at once not to mention the weekly homeworks we're suppose to be doing but can't -.-

Recently, I went on my first city photoshoot as an assignment for my photo class. It was a decent experience. I walked up and down peachtree in downtown. Very different from other parts of Atlanta. Many...blacks haha. It was really intimidating. I was part afraid that I might get mugged and part afraid that people won't like having someone going around taking pictures. But I didn't really run into any big problem. I tried to snap a shot of these men playing dominos and they freaked out. Told me to stop. They were probably gambling. It's definitely something I'd like to do again with a prime lens though.

In other news I got a dog. She's about 7 weeks old and she's a maltese. Really cute and small. She behaves but I wonder how long that's gonna last. It's always a few days that a new puppy is timid a shy but once it gets familiar it starts its path of destruction. At least she's a small dog.

I'm trying to sell some of my photo gear. Trying to move onto prime lenses and sell my zooms except my bazooka. I have a few people interest. Let's hope something comes through. But I'll first need to use that money to buy my dad a birthday gift. Wow...I wonder what I should give him. Since I'll have hundreds of dollars from selling my old camera, maybe a new coat? nice pair of dress pants or something.

Church has been...rather bland. I really enjoy EM praise team however. I feel like the sermons and events dont really get to me and there's been a lack of motivation for people to serve or maintain the positions they're in charge of. Also, the yg is really divided despite us having a retreat about forgiveness and healing. It got worse and people are hating and holding grudges even more. I feel like the yg is where it was when I left. Back to the same spot which was why I left 2-3 years ago. I want to leave. Or at least only focus on EM. but EM itself is rather dormant and will probably stay that way since the jdsn will leave and the church isn't at good standings at all. I really question what'll happen at this point. I was thinking about it, and I need to fast. Not now though because I barely have the energy to get through the day with school and work. But spring break I want to devote to God and prayer and fasting. I want to know what He wants me to do and what the next step should be because I don't know what to do right now. I need to do something that'll grow my faith, not just maintain it. I want to go on a mission trip. A well organized one that'll give me a humbling experience. Our church is going to Peru this year with a select few members but I have no desire to go because I'm apprehensive towards the adult ministry for several reasons and they're in charge of it.

Maybe it is time for me to go? Somewhere that'll bring me more oppurtunities and show me even more the glory of God. I don't mind small churches. I don't mind starting something. All I want to do is worship for the rest of my life. People normally wish for well paying careers, good looking spouses, worldly things that don't last, but me and my close friend. We wish we were worship leaders that would lead thousands, possibly millions, to God. Instead of our examples being 2pm, Big Bang, Brittany Spears, Kim Kardashian, we look up to Joel Houston, Jad Gillies, Louie Giglio, John Piper. People who work for the Kingdom of God. I wish I could see more people like us, not to say that I'm exemplary or anything. But it is hard to see any encouragements around these days.

I've been thinking a lot about the future. Wondering what God wants me to do. If I should change things up. Minor in graphic design or creative writing. Go to seminary.

Also the end of the world. It's really been on my mind. I had a dream about it and my friends have too. I think it's coming soon. Within my lifetime, and if not, within the next generation of people for sure. The signs all match. Things seem to only be getting worse. Increase in divorce, increase in violence (African genocide, Middle East unrest), increase in destruction by natural disasters (Haiti,California fires and severe rains, global warming), increase in the people who idolize other "gods" (celebrities, sports, games, alcohol, drugs, other activities), increase in the number of gay people and odd things like that, increase in the number of autistic children and AIDS. It's rare that anything decreases. Except for maybe the number of people who are attending church with the right heart and mind. I need to read Revelations, but I'm already reading Isaiah and Deuteronomy and I don't wanna skip around even more. Alot of people are scared about the world ending. But I'm not. I'm ready for it.

I know where I'm going.